Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
