She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Michael Bay diarrhea
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
