You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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