Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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