Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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