Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
