she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
