Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
