last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
