Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
well you can't waste a boner
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize