I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
