He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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