listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
