sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
