I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
