So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You ruined the universe
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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