dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
