i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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