I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
