I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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