garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
