TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
