A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
