you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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