Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
