Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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