you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
