Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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