Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
