I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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