Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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