Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
