You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
