Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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