everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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