My Higher Power is John Stamos
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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