and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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