What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
