i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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