What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
