i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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