My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
