i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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