so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
