She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
