Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
