What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
