I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
