someone threw a dead crab at me
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
