Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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