I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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