Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
